Rocky Roads

 

    Today was one of those tough days that leave your heart aching and your mind spinning with questions. We found that Conrad's boss has swindled him out of almost $20,000. This has left us reeling, angry, questioning. It bothers me when I'm cheated out of $5 let alone 4,000 times that! What does one do when all of sudden money that was planned on never comes in? What is God trying to teach us? How can a professing Christian defraud another like that? Where will the money come from for the expected expenses ahead? Where is God in all of this? How does one forgive and not get bitter? Are we blessed? Absolutely! But the lack of the planned on funds, has me wrestling with trust once more that God is big enough to handle even this!
    We are still in need of another nanny. God, please come through for us for You care for our kids as much as You care for us! Please continue to pray with us that this need is filled!
     Our clothes dryer also up and died this week. With last 3&1/2 days of rain, the clean laundry must have a place to get dried! Conrad has spent quite a number of hours trying to fix it.
     A fourth bump in the road is my health. Not sure what is up. I've got a blood test appointment for this coming Tuesday in hopes of getting it done before we leave for Uganda on Wednesday.
     While these things have stirred many things within us, there have been blessings as well. Tonight we had a chiropractor treatment and 15 minute massage afterward. As I was getting a massage, the therapist began telling me about his daughter and how difficult it was the first few months of her life being gifted with "Charge Syndrome". As he was talking, I had the distinct impression that I was right where God wanted me in a massage chair. The therapist then said this "We learned to praise Him in the storm and when you learn to do that, You come out stronger on the other side." I knew that God wanted me to get that message~"Praise ME in this storm"! I cried when I left for the simple fact of how God met me in my questions.
     After we got home, we had supper and then had devotions with the children. We purposely sang a few songs. You know, there something extra special when your four precious kids sing with such joy, passion, and innocence. The amazing thing is that God ask me to become just like them and praise Him while the storm rages.

Weekend to Remember

This weekend we were at "Weekend to Remember". It was enjoyable to come away as a couple. Our first session was on what causes marriages to fail and addressed the threats of difficult adjustments, our culture's pattern, inevitable difficulties, selfishness, and or affairs. Isolation happens when we fail to make the needed adjustments.How we respond makes the difference of whether we are driven together or driven apart. Some of the big things that stuck out to me in this session were how difficulties doesn't mean that there is something wrong and should challenge our resourcefulness, not our relationship. Did you know that extramarital affairs are more than sex with someone other than your partner? It's also materialism, kids, careers, and activities. It's when a legitimate need is filled in an illegitimate way.  

This guy was amazing! He had 10 kids and
was pastor of a cross-cultural church.

Solo time with a mango smoothie

      The next session was on how we communicate. Some of the tips were to listen with acceptance and understanding, focused attention, ask questions using "I" statements rather than "you" statements, focus on what is being said rather than how it is being said, not everything you think needs to be expressed, and think before you speak. It is vital that we speak words of encouragement and blessing instead of curses for truly "life and death are in the power of the tongue"!

      "Unlocking the Mystery of Marriage" called us to realize that marriage is NOT about us! It's about God! It's a earthly representation of God's character and heart. When we as a couple mirror God's image, we experience what it means to be one. Failing to be one not only destroys the marriage but it also destroys the home, the schools, the church, and the nations. We have a low view of marriage because we have a low view of God. Satan always challenges God and His purposes for marriage. There is glory in a Godly marriage! Satan is out to destroy glory and thus he is after our marriages to destroy its glory. We see this in shame, guilt, fear, blame shifting, and control. 

          I am God's gift to Conrad! :) :) :) We are imperfect and yet God pursues a love relationship with me. We either live by default or we live by design, I get to choose!

            Marriage is about God. It takes Christ in us to be able to experience oneness in marriage. Sin causes oneness to be destroyed. The definition for sin is anything that we seek more than God! Ouch! That comes pretty close to home! Yet, Jesus exchanged MY sins for His righteousness! He paid MY penalty 100% so I could go free! This journey requires putting our trust and confidence in God! It's letting Jesus have unhindered access to every area of my life. It's not about us, it's about Him!

         Unmet expectations, unfulfilled desires, being hurt, and when our rights have been violated leads to quarreling and fighting. One of the big things in this session for me was the encouragement to examine the offense before confronting. Not every issue needs to be confronted as Proverbs 19:11 says that "it is his glory to overlook an offense". My spouse is NOT the enemy. I must start with me! How did I contribute conflict? If one wins, you both lose. To resolve conflict we must forgive. This is costly! The offender needs to seek forgiveness while the offended spouse must grant forgiveness. This obedience to God is the first step toward rebuilding trust. Actively choosing to bless the other spouse minimizes conflict. 

         "Marriage after Dark" was about sexual intimacy. We shouldn't be afraid to address this topic since God freely talks about it in His Word. Your sex life is affected by your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. A healthy sexual relationship is built on the foundation of companionship, commitment, passion, and spiritual intimacy.

           Sunday morning found us in split sessions man to man, woman to woman. This stirred a lot in me. If I am wise, I will embrace God's plans and purposes for my home. It's yielding to God's design rather than outside influences. First, I need to intentionally pursue living water. He wants me to know Him. I put my husband first realizing that submission is beautiful. It doesn't mean that I don't share my opinion and become a door mat but that I am his helper. It means to respect him by how I look at him, the words I say, to accept him. That we are interdependent. My home is where I get to change the world!!! I dare not parent through fear! Seek God for He promises that when we lack wisdom, He will give it when we ask. It is vital to know the "3 F's" of our children-their friends, fears, and favorite things. I teach what I know but will reproduce who I am. I get the incredible privilege of showing my children who God is by who I am for more is caught than taught! I help my children understand their physical, emotional, and spiritual identity. Together we prepare our children for lives of purpose.

         Marriage is costly. We reflect the love of God. This is a choice and not a feeling. Bitterness is the result of failing to forgive. "Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast"-Marlene Dietrich. We must enthusiastically encourage our spouse through refraining from critical words, embracing a positive attitude even through difficult times and openly affirming our spouses! Remember it is ALWAYS too soon to give up!

     Leaving a legacy requires us to be intentional. Our relationships reflect our legacy. Our willingness to follow Jesus must be at the core of our legacy. Put Jesus at the center! Instead of just trying for something, we must train ourselves! 

At the very end, we repeated our vows to one another. I think we both had tears in our eyes till we were done. Then we could kiss :) They sent this marriage covenant home with us and encouraged us that if we have children old enough that they should be the ones to sign as witnesses.

The children were very glad to see us when we picked them up. The two youngest ones especially seemed delighted that we were back again. Logan seems to have some type of infection though. There were tears of tiredness and relief that once again we were together as a complete family unit! There was also a classic joke~ "Why did the tomato blush?" 

A-"Because it saw the salad dressing"

Confirmations & Closed Doors

Our favorite study positions are that of a coffee cup, our books, and pens, highlighters. Many hours are spent this way. 

  Trust has been a huge part of this journey and continues to be so! The Lord continues to send confirmations of that we are to be in preparation this spring. We got our acceptance at MTC. Since then Conrad had to contact school about the 6 week absence. Previously, school has been very reluctant to give leave of absence, this time though we got a very clear yes and as long as we work with the teachers there isn't a problem. Thank You, God! 

    That same day the Lord gave me this verse~"In that I command thee this day to love the Lord thy God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply; and the Lord thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it."

         On the other hand there has been some "nos" from potential nannies. This has brought up the trust issue for me in big ways. One of the nannies we had asked was always at the forefront of our minds when we thought and prayed about who should be our nanny when we go to NYC. With a "no", it's back to square one and I wrestle with "Did we simply not hear God right? Didn't we pray enough?" I lay awake and pray and worry and ask God to provide for us as we leave in less than 8 weeks and we will be gone for over 2 of those weeks before we leave. I keep coming back to that the Lord has opened doors for us to go. He will also provide for our children as well! I would like this issue answered, "NOW"! So you can continue to pray for answers to that specific prayer! 

"To trust God in the light is nothing, but to trust Him in the dark-that is faith" ~C.H.Spurgeon

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act." ~Psalms 37:5

We had another snow storm. The children had such great fun building personal snowmen. Daddy & April share the snowman's nose. Jordan's is a baseball playing snowman.

Why?

       Why? Why would anyone sell all that they have to follow Jesus? Why would one leave home? Family? Friends? Job? Prestige? Yes, you read that right! We living in America live the American dream are prestigious no matter how you slice it whether you earn 30 k a year or 130 k a year. We are blessed beyond measure. Consider these statistics-

1 in 3 children do not have adequate shelter

1 in 4 will go to bed hungry tonight

1 in 5 live without access to safe drinking water

50% of the world's population lives on less than $2.50 a day

     Do you know who Jesus is? There is 3,133 unreached and unengaged people groups with a population of over 10 billion who have never even heard the Name of Jesus! These statistics are staggering. They are easily written off but once they have a face it makes a difference! What if it were me? What if it were you who never heard? 

     One must have passion! Passion is joy-filled abandon of a heart set free to pursue the glory of God. Our hearts need to be focused on Jesus, worshiping Him for who He is. John Piper said it well when he said: "Mission exists because worship doesn't". This statement seems harsh at first but consider this that missions are temporary and worship is for eternity. Worship is for the passion of His glory. One must cherish God to worship Him and this propels one to be a missionary whether at home or abroad. We won't call people to something we don't personally cherish. Sincerely exalting the beauty and majesty of God will cause the light of the Gospel to shine to the darkest places in the world. This is exciting! 

And thus, we reach for the fruit that is white and ready for harvest! With hands lifted, offering ourselves to wherever He calls.

We don't know details and so we faithfully seek for the fruit He desires in our lives. We renounce self-reliance to wait for Him. 

All of history is moving toward the triumphant goal of peoples from all nations around the throne worshiping God. God is committed that we rejoice and be glad in Him for His Name's sake. Hence we are called to "Declare His glory among the nations". He is thrilled when we are satisfied in Him repenting for seeking our joy in other things than in Him. 

  Unless God move's nothing moves! We MUST pray! Our strategy isn't what saves people, it is God! Amazingly different from other gods who need carried, we know God for He carries us! We delight in God and therefore we are called to "GO"

One Word 2106

     Hello world! Hello 2016! It's hard to believe the month of January has already come and gone. January held a very special New Year's Eve party! New Year's day found us sitting at the table as a family, looking back on special memories of 2015 and ahead to 2016.

    We had the two oldest and ourselves fill out a questionnaire. Favorite colors this past year was from lime green to red. Favorite foods were anything from donuts and coffee to Ramen noodles and hot dogs. Best memories included our beach trip to Wildwood, New Jersey, picking apples in Grandpa's orchard, girl's camp, and our trip to Guatemala. Wishes for 2016 including anything from Icelandic adventures to growing deeper in Christ.

                                    

We also chose one word for the New Year 2016. My one word was-HOPE. Hope, there's so much wrapped up in that one word security, confidence, desire, and expectation. Hope in all the hopes and dreams of what the year holds for us as a family. Hope in God's faithfulness. Hope because God has called us to live lives that are bold statements of His HOPE in us. Hope because the deep and growing darkness is overcome with the relentless courage that we don't know how soon God will break through with the ultimate victory.

To be overwhelmingly filled with the immense glory of Christ is to embrace that whether big or little, all things will be for God's global glory. This is hope!

 And because of the cross, Hope does not put us to shame. (Romans 5:5)

This next year holds a lot of dreams and challenges but leaning into Christian hope-Jesus is ENOUGH!!!

 January held record snowfalls for our area. Recorded amount was 28" in this blizzard which was 3" more than previous snows. The two oldest children had a blast in it. The two youngest were swallowed up in it except for the trails that Daddy kindly blew open for them. Logan especially didn't care for the cold.

 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer"

Romans 12:!2